Perspectives

Another thing that struck me was my own situation. I've been 6 years in Cork, and most of the last 18 months have been spent thinking of getting out. I came to Cork in mid 2002, like a lot of non-natives, to escape. I'd been in an emotional draining and psychologically abusive relationship, I couldn't face Dublin and so I came here, where I'd good friends and happy memories. But it was never intended to be a long term thing. Interesting thing is, I have met many other people who came here to escape, dry out, chill out, get away. But the time comes when you have to realise that this isn't the place for you.

I originally was meant to leave Cork in October 2006 and stayed. Then I made a plan to return to Dublin in May 2008 and now that looks as if its not going to happen either. Finally, I've come to the conclusion: why stop at Dublin? My original intention in 2002 was to go back to London once the dust settled and my head had cleared, but meeting a woman with whom I ended up in what was mostly a very fulfilling and satisfying 3.5 year relationship changed much of that. Leaving that changed a lot. I have to say even though the breakup was very painful and humiliating for me (and it took me all this time to realise that many things were simply not my fault, and showed there was something wrong with my former lover and her new girlfriend rather than with me didn't occur to me until I'd broken away from my usual environment), the relationship was stabilizing and maturing in general. I hope I've become a more open and tolerant person than I was 6 years ago. I hope I'm a lot less angry, and I hope I'm less worried about what others think of me and less influenced by their feelings.

Having said that its been really difficult to move on, given that I'm back in the transitional period I found myself in between July 2002 and January 2004. The difference is that I no longer need it - my most recent partner is not an abusive individual I need to stay away from, indeed, she has many positive traits that most of my other exes lack. However it is time to move on and maybe time to make an even bigger move.

There was method in my madness in visiting both Kuala Lumpur and Sydney. KL has a large branch office of the company I currently work for and a transfer, even temporarily, could be a future possibility. Sydney, lets face it, probably has one of the best womens scenes in the entire world, well matched to NY, San Fran or London. I certainly feel its a place I could kill a year or two. My other options are the US, Canada or even a possible return to the UK - this time I'd be inclined to go for Brighton rather than central London though, its a vibe I like. My plan now is to get my VI3 certification done and OU courses completed by late November and start planning a move from September on. At very least I shall go back to Dublin, if not somewhere more exotic. Any why not? I'm 35, not 80, the world is still at my feet, I've reached a point professionally where I am in demand and can start negotiating from a strong position. I am my own woman. So next year, a fresh start.

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