The reason I feel this way is because I remember male reactions of 20 to 25 years ago. Disgust, a real threat to their masculine identities, and pity were common. This gradually gave way to the internet pervert. Guiltily wanking away while imitating female behaviour, it has - sadly - become the norm now for most gay women online to assume that any overt sexual overture is coming from a pathetic, lonely, 60 year old male with the maturity of a 12 year old. This is a shame, because I strongly agree with Bright's assertion that you could line the world with women who wouldn't jump at the chance of no strings sex. In all of the years I am online, I've probably come across genuine girls looking for a bit of slap and tickle and unafraid to ask about 3 times. (And yes, I did share bodily fluids with all 3). But that is 3 out of at dozens of obvious perverts just looking for fresh wank material.
I have to say I think the point that Bright misses is that the problem isn't that I am upset about being wank material for some old creep, the problem is that it burst my bubble every time I thought I'd got chatting to some hot thing only for it to turn out to be some smelly old anorak. I felt genuinely cheated more than blowing trust. Thing is, I've got to a point where I can pick stuff up at a hands pace. For example the last pervert I entertained for more than 10 minutes was about 2 years ago. "She" claimed to work in IT and mentioned the company name. No problem with that. Thing is, then when she asked what I was wearing to work "she" claimed to be wearing hot, sexy, scare the boss high heels.
Now don't get me wrong, its not that lesbians don't do heels. We most certainly do. And its not that girls in IT don't dress sexy: at the time my next door colleague El, came to work everyday in killer heels and lovely feminine dresses. There was always a bit of fun in hearing the click of the heels going up and down the corridor. And she sure wasn't the only one. Thing is, generally, gay women who work in IT tend to not flash their heels and frocks in the workplace. Unless they work in face to face sales.
The quiet fantasy of the guy watching the L-Word or Lip Service or whatever the current trend is isn't harmful in itself. But when come pervert goes online and dupes a woman who comes online because she just cannot find anybody offline, or lives in a remote area, or maybe can't go out for whatever reason, I think that's mean and exploitative. Its like regular hets who go to gay bars to amuse themselves. In a city the size of Dublin there is at least 50-100 clubs and late night bars catering for the Copperface Jacks brigade. We don't have that kind of choice and flooding our scene with tourism tends to dilute the available pool of talent. The other problem of course is that sometimes (although not always) visiting heteros are not as "liberated" as they believe themselves to be, and harassment and outright violence may occur. Of course this is especially the case where a gay venue is flooded with a lot of fag hags and straight men start following them in. In the former case its the gay women who tend to suffer the consequences, but once straight guys start coming after the straight girls, then there tends to be real problems. Of course, I would point out that a very large number of straight people going into gay bars may not be at all sure of their own sexuality. Many friends have ended up sharing bodily fluids with some of these very hetero tourists. And I have flirted with more than a few.
The problem is, that its hard enough without having to wade through a sea of imposters, and it devalues otherwise useful sites like gaydargirls if we cannot be sure that the people behind the profiles are at least of the gender they claim to be.